Cocaine, ecstasy and amphetamines should be “nationalised” and sold legally in government-run pharmacies to undermine global drug-related crime, a UK drugs reform charity has recommended.

The idea is presented in a new book called How to regulate Stimulants: A practical guide from UK drugs reform charity Transform, and suggests that drugs should be sold in government-run pharmacies to reduce drug-related crimes and tackle addiction. “Our proposals would take drug supply away from organised crime groups, creating a system that reduces harm rather than increasing it. The status quo can’t continue,” said Transform’s chief executive, Dr James Nicholls.

Also included is a foreword written by New Zealand’s former prime minister Helen Clark: “As consensus grows that the ‘war on drugs’ has failed, so does the need for a frank exploration of the alternatives … It is essential that we begin a serious discussion on how we regulate stimulants,” she says.

The book says that legal, prescription coke should be sold over the counter by specially trained chemists, sort of like buying antibiotics, but for the sesh. According to some mock-up designs featured in the book, the packet would come as a single dose, in pharma-style plain packaging, with (highly visible) health warnings and risk information.

A state-run regulatory agency would determine prices (rather than private corps) and there would be a ban on advertising the drugs.

Sadly, the chances of this ever happening are looking slim. When asked whether the government would reconsider the law on drugs such as cocaine, ecstasy and amphetamines, a Home Office spokesperson told the Guardian, “Absolutely not”, adding that the government also remains opposed to legalising cannabis “because it is detrimental to health and mental health”.