A recent candid appearance by Kanye West at evangelical event Awaken 2020, a 10-hour prayer rally that took place in Tempe, Arizona, will be quite a memorable one for some time, as the rapper touched on his mental health, beliefs, and his alcohol abuse problem.

The rapper, along with his Sunday Service choir, performed “Jesus Walks” before he began speaking directly to the audience about thinking of himself as a “Trojan horse for God” and how his spiritual journey has improved his mental health. “I’ve been to the mental hospital and back, working for the devil. But Jesus saves. No matter how long you’ve been away, no matter how long you’ve been in the dark, the light is right there, ready to save. To give you the confidence.”

Then he went on talking about his problems with alcohol, mentioning his infamous appearance at 2009 VMAs where he ruined Taylor Swift’s award acceptance speech. “I was drinking on the red carpet, and then running on stage a few minutes later,” he said about the evening in question. “And everyone around said, ‘Nah, he ain’t really no alcoholic.'”

Further explaining, he also touched on how he was able to hold back from drink one afternoon. “There was some vodka in the refrigerator at my office, and sometimes I would just go ahead and take a drink from it in the middle of the day, and I was walking toward that kitchenette area, and I stopped myself and I said, ‘Devil you’re not gonna finna beat me today.’ Every day that I don’t pick up that drink, I beat the devil.”